Except for a relapse on February 8 or 9, I haven’t indulged in feces and urine since the 1st Advent of 2025: I haven’t tasted them or rubbed them on my body; I’ve also hardly used images of excrement as masturbation material. But for a few days now, I’ve been feeling the urge to indulge in my fetish growing stronger and stronger. I even dream about it at night. I see myself in filthy boys‘ toilets at vocational schools, the walls smeared with graffiti, the toilet seats stained with steaming shit. The overwhelming stench is refined by the spicy scent of potent weed. Overflowing urinals scream at me: “Drink us! Dip your head in us and drink us dry!
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In the past, there were phases when I managed to do this for five months at a time without any problems. But now, two months is the absolute maximum – hence the recent brief relapse. These periods of abstinence, in relation to my fetish, are never planned; they just happen. During the other phases, I go to the toilet twice a week on average to eat my fresh shit with relish and spread it over my body. I describe this immense lust as perfect bliss on earth. Nothing else can be as intense and pleasurable for me.
The highlight, on average three times a year, is the bathtub sessions, during which I rub my entire body with feces and lie in a stimulating puddle of piss for hours. That’s exactly the kind of session I have in mind next, and I suspect that this time it will be even more intense, hotter, more beautiful, and more perfect than usual. One might assume that such permissiveness occurs during the use of drugs, such as amphetamines. This is not the case. Being stimulated by certain substances naturally intensifies this bliss of pleasure, but this rarely happens nowadays. Piss and shit are my drugs.
As I have often reported, I am addicted to young men, especially if they are potheads or take other substances. Their bodily excretions are the most perfect kick for me. I have already written to Marlon today to ask if he has time for me at the beginning of next month and will come and visit me. I am also back in touch, albeit sporadically, with Serkan, whom I asked to send me a photo of one of his next piles of shit. Knowing this wonderful boy, he will comply with my request. I will make the same request to Tim. Here, too, I can hope for an enchanting photo. I am so grateful. It may even be that he will visit me again briefly when he is back in town, but he charges 150 bucks for his services, which I find absolutely legitimate. Each of the guys gets €30 from me per photo. My very own “church tax,” so to speak.
During my personal Ramadan, I constantly urge myself to refrain from these perversities from now on. To finally become “normal” after all. To a certain extent, it works. But in the end, the longing and urge for piss and shit overwhelms me, because experiencing this fetish is the most sacred thing in my life. While others consume heroin or some crazy belief, my religion consists of young guys, and their piss, and shit. The boys are my gods. Their gifts are my sanctuary. I already manifested this years ago in the sentence “I was born to eat shit“. And it just feels so damn right and wonderful.
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Ultimately, I’m happy with my brown fetish. What always makes me sad, though, is the fact that I never got to meet Lil‘ Peep. I adore him so much. At the moment, during the cleansing phase of abstinence, I often look at photos and videos of him. It can be heartbreaking when you consider how young he was when he died. How I would have loved to say those magical words: “I would love to taste your caviar.” To feel his feces on my skin and eat it… To kneel before him and enjoy his warm golden shower… I mustn’t get too carried away at this point, otherwise my heart will become heavy with melancholy again. It would have been a great honor to be his shit house.
My „Poo Ramadan“ should be over around March 1. Then three months of fasting will stop. Finally! Finally, I can be myself again, with all the pleasures that make me happy. THANK GOD THAT I CAN EXPERIENCE THE BEAUTY OF SHIT. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
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